Silence
by dulscar
Summary: When he felt the stinging slap across his cheek, he knew she'd never feel the same way, he knew this was the beginning of the end... he knew this was to be his undoing...  Jalex.  One-Sided.
1. Chapter 1

Silence

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Disclaimer: Like all the rest... Don't own WoWP, etc, yadda, yadda, yadda... here we go...

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Chapter 1

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Justin could feel he wind whipping through his hair as he looked up at the night sky. It seemed that it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. The way the stars twinkled above him, shining their meager light for all the world to see, and he wondered for a second how many of them were still there... how many had 'died', exploded in a brilliant supernova, but were too far away for the light from that catastrophic event to have yet reached Earth. He wondered how many of them out there were just like him... still shining for all the world to see but had long since passed... just a remnant of their former selves.

It had been three days since he made the biggest mistake of his life, three days since he ignored that screaming in his mind... It had been three days since he had mistakenly kissed his sister, Alex.

He didn't intend for it to happen. He was fully prepared to deal with these feelings he had for her since he was fifteen... he was willing to ignore them and get on with his life but then, when she messed something up, she ran to him like she always did, and when it was over, she hugged him.

That was all it took to bring his feelings to the surface. He'd fought them back so many times before, but this time was different. This time, when she pulled back and looked up at him, whispering a sincere 'thank you', he couldn't resist anymore and his lips came crashing down onto hers.

He could hear the voice in his head sreaming at him to stop, begging him not to do it, but he didn't listen, not this time. He'd been listening to this voice all of his life, yelling at him to look away when it caught him staring, yelling at him to let go when he held her for too long. It seemed like screaming was all he could hear anymore.

Now he felt weightless... free... like soon, all of this pain would come to an end... soon, all of the screaming would be silenced.

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Three days ago...

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"Justin," Alex said in a panic, "I need your help!" He could tell she was in trouble, she usually was, and he knew that even if he tried to resist, he would give in, he always did.

"What did you do _now?_" he said, annoyance seething through his voice. He looked up at her from the couch, away from the book he'd been reading, and saw the worry in her eyes.

"I, uh, I don't really know..." she started, unsure of what she had just done... unleashed. She couldn't find the right words to describe it. It was something she'd never seen before, so she did what she always did... she ran to to one person she knew would have the answer.

His annoyance was building, and even though he may have been in love with her, she was still his little sister, and prone to getting on his nerves. "What do mean you don't know? God, Alex, you're so-" he was suddenly cut off when she ran up to him, grabbed his wrist tightly, and pulled him off of the couch. "Oh, would you just come on!" she huffed. She knew what he would've said if she let him continue... 'you're so irresponsible, you're so immature, so naive... she's heard it countless times.

He could feel the heat of her hand on his wrist where she had grabbed him, when the screaming started again. _Pull away! Make her let you go! Don't lose control of yourself! Think of the consequences! _ He was tired. Tired of feeling hopeless, tired of feeling like there was nothing he could do... tired of the screaming. He pushed it, as best he could, to the back of his mind as he allowed himself to be dragged down the stairs of his family's loft, through the small diner, and toward the Lair.

The door was closed, but he could hear something inside smashing into the eclectic wizard artifacts, relics passed down through the generations, and random junk that littered the seat of the Russo family's powers.

"Alex!" he shouted, pointing at the door, "What did you do? What's in there!"

"That's the thing, Justin. I _really _don't know!" she pleaded. "I had the portal door open again and this... this... _thing _just sort of flew in!" He wanted to scold her, and remind her of what happened the last time she carelessly left the door open, turning their father into some giant grotesque insect. But her eyes were begging him to believe her and he could see the truth behind them, so he decided it was best to let it go.

He closed his eyes for a moment to calm his thoughs and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. "Fine, I'll go. Just wait-" "NO!" Alex interrupted. He furrowed his brow and looked quizically at her. "I don't want you to... I mean, It's just that..." "I know, Alex" he interjected softly. "I'll be fine."

She offered him a weak smile and grabbed his bicep. "I'm coming with you!" She said it so firmly that he didn't bother to argue... he knew it wouldn't make a difference. She cared about him, no matter what she told people, and he knew this. He knew that she was afraid of losing him, afraid of him leaving her, worried that she wouldn't have anyone to watch her back anymore. He shot her an understanding smile that she rolled her eyes at... she "hated" that he knew how much she needed him.

When he opened the door and stepped through, his eyes went wide at the destruction laid out before him and, instinctively, he pushed Alex further behind him to keep her safe. She gently squeezed his arm 'thank you'.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw... something... something small, the size of a baseball, glowing a brilliant red. Immediately, his eyes snapped to the shining orb. Ribbons of stunning crimson swirled around it, like the twisting magnetic field lines of the sun, humming with energy.

The orb seemed to sense the sibling's presence and hurled itself at them. Closer and closer it came, barely missing them as Justin whirled around, forcing himself and Alex to the ground. "Shit!" Justin rarely cursed so even through her fear, Alex giggled, causing Justin to shake his head in disbelief.

"Ok. I think I've... got... a... uh... plan."

"You're just filling me with confidence here, Justin." she retorted flatly.

"Maybe that thing just wants out?" he said, noticing that the portal door was closed. "I'll go open it and maybe it'll just leave..." his voice was unsteady, unsure if the object in the room was really just trapped there, looking for away out or... he shook his head, he didn't want to think about what else it could want.

Alex didn't think that was one of his more brilliant ideas but with him still pressed protectively on top of her, she was in no position to argue. Before she could protest, Justin pushed himself up and darted toward the portal. Alex watched in horror as he started running, making it only three steps before the glowing orb hit him sqarely in the back, sending him crashing into the wall, and crumpling to the floor.

"JUSTIN!" She quickly crawled to his limp and unconscious body, shaking him violently, trying to wake him. "Justin, please... please wake up!" She kept shaking him, desperately hoping he wasn't... "No! NO! Justin!..." She could feel the tears coming down her face as she pounded her fists into his chest.

Waking from his daze, he heard the the cries of his sister, felt the pounding on his chest, and the soreness in his body from his tumble into the wall. He gasped for breath, coughing, trying to fill his lungs with air. "Justin! You're alright! Thank God!" she cried out, wiping her eyes, "I was so worried that... that..." She couldn't finish that sentence, she just couldn't. She grasped Justin's shirt in a white knuckled grip and buried her face into his neck, still sniffling as he wrapped an arm around her.

"I'm fine, Alex" Justin choked out, "Let's just finish this." She nodded against him, clinging tighter.

Luckily, the wall the orb knocked him into was the one closest to the portal door. All he had to do was find the strength to stand and move the few remaining steps it would take to get the door open.

"Where is it?" It was a fair question considering the trauma he'd just suffered. But was even more distracting to him, was the closeness of Alex. The way she felt pressed against him, her warm breath on his neck, sent shivers down his spine.

He couldn't focus on that now... there were more important things to deal with. Steeling himself, he gently rolled her over, and the position he found himself in was one he'd relentlessly dreamed of... _Focus, Justin. Do what needs to be done! Get that damn thing out of here! Keep her safe! _The voice in his mind screeched at him. Shaking his head free from this, his eyes darted around the room to try and locate the red orb. He saw it, glowing even more intensely, silently hovering only ten feet away, seemingly awating his next move.

He knew he had to be fast, he may not have another shot at this. He looked back down at Alex, who had followed his eyes and was focused on the intruder. Slowly she shifted her gaze to meet his, and when they met, he nodded; a silent message of what he intended to do. She shook her head furiously, her deep brown irises begging him not to try again... not to leave her. "I have to, Alex. We don't have much of a choice." She stared at him for a moment, uncertainty washing over her, but decided he was right, he was Justin, he usually was, she swallowed hard and meekly nodded her response.

He turned his gaze back to the glowing sphere, then to the door, and back. It seemed to know what he was going to do, like it could read his thoughts, and as Justin got up to make his sprint, the orb began its own as well.

The portal door was no more that eight feet away but if seemed like miles. He moved his legs as fas as they would carry him, but it felt like slow motion. He could feel the heat emanating from the sphere as it closed in on him, like it was moving in for the kill. One final step and Justin lunged toward the door, leaping with all his might, grabbing the handle, nearly pulling it from its foundation, yanking the door open as he crashed to the floor.

He closed his eyes, awating the second impact... but it never came. The red orb had simply left, fled the scene, with distruction in its wake. Slowly, Justin opened his left eye, not quite certain enough to open both, and flinched when he saw Alex slam the portal door shut, jam a broom into it, and place her back against it... just in case.

Heavy panting filled the air. Neither spoke, listening intently to make sure they were safe. When their breathing calmed, Alex looked down at Justin, who was just beginning to open his right eye and couldn't help the laughter that overtook her. It's funny how a potentially near-death experience seems to work. Fear of dying... relief from surviving... and then laughter... it doesn't make much sense. It's like the mind's way of releasing the tension to keep a person from seizing up... When Justin heard his little sister giggling uncontrollably, he finally let his guard down and joined in, and made he way back to his feet.

Alex reached out a hand to Justin to help him up and when he extended his own, grasping her wrist, he felt the sparks shoot through him. Once on his feet, she wrapped her delicate arms around his back and squeezed tight, and as he slid his own around her, gently rubbing her back, he could feel himself losing control. "Are you ok?" he asked softly, his laughter subsiding. He felt her nod against his chest before slowly pulling back to look into his eyes. "Thank you, Justin."

The greatful and loving look in her piercing brown eyes, the softness of her body pressed against his, the heavenly scent of her perfume, were too much for him to bear any longer. Even with the symphonies of 'no', 'stop', 'sister', 'future', playing a dark melody in his head, he leaned down and connected his lips to hers, trying to make her feel, trying to make her understand what he felt...

He knew it was wrong, he knew it was a mistake, he knew he should've listened to those voices in his head, but he was so tired of the screaming...

And when she wretched away from him, when he saw the hurt and betrayal in her eyes, when he felt the stinging slap of her hand across his cheek, he knew this was the beginning of the end... he knew she would never feel the sme way... he knew this was to be his undoing...

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A/N: chapter 1 is done, chapter 2 coming shortly...


	2. Chapter 2

Silence

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Disclaimer: Like all the rest... Don't own WoWP, etc, yadda, yadda, yadda, here we go... uh... continue...

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Chapter 2

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He felt his world crumbling down around him, felt the stinging pain of rejection, and swore he could literally feel his heart tearing into pieces as she sprinted from him and out of the lair. He knew in that moment that he had ruined his life... her life... their lives. He knew he would never be able to forgive himself, but what hurt the most was knowing she would never forgive him either.

There are some lines you can _never _cross, but he did it anyway. He never did things like this, he never crossed those lines, _any_ lines... he was the oldest sibling, the most responsible, the most intelligent... but now, he was lost. He felt his mind slipping from him, the screaming in his head, now louder than ever, punishing him for his mistake.

His face was emotionless, his body seemed limp, like a ragdoll in the breeze, and his feet seemed to carry him to the one place he knew peace, the one place, even in New York, he found solitude.

He had always loved the Chrysler Building. He went there when he was a child, innocent and full of wonder, and fell in love. The simple, yet elegant stylings, ornate statues, beautiful and bold, but not distasteful, and tiered layerings... Art Deco at its finest... so unlike the tall, lifeless, rectagular boxes cluttering up so much of the skyline.

On the 61st floor is where he found refuge, his own sanctuary from the world, surrounded by the silver eagles he first saw as menacing when he was young, but now brought him comfort even in the face of his immense fear of heights.

He doesn't know how he got there, but when he awoke from his daze, he found himself sitting on the balcony, outside of the building, away from the gawking eyes of strangers, straddling his favorite sculptured raptor.

He looked down and gasped as he saw an endless expanse of nothingness beneath his dangling feet. Quickly he retreated from the edge and pressed his back against the wall, drawing in short, paniced breaths. He loved being here, high above the world, away from it all, but he'd always planned out when he would come here. He always knew that this was a place he could come to unwind from a stressful day, a place where he could find quiet away from his chaotic family, away from his beautiful sister.

His body must have known instinctively what he wanted, it must have known where he needed to be, and of its own accord, it brought him here. He was grateful for this, he just wished he'd had some warning first.

When he'd finally calmed his nerves, he cautiously slid back toward his favorite silver eagle, draping a leg on either side, careful not to let the strong winds at this height topple him over the edge. He sat for hours, lost in his thoughs, staring out over the city, marveling at how extraordinarily beautiful a city so large could be.

His thoughts drifted occasionally to Alex, to the horrified look on her face, but that's not why he came here. He doesn't come here to work out his problems, he never did. He came here to find peace, to find calm, to find the tranquility he needed so he _could_ think of a way to put his life back together.

The glorious oranges, yellows, and reds of the slowly setting sun had gradually transformed into night and a chill crept into his bones causing him to shiver... He'd been here long enough. With a heavy sigh, he reached into his back pocket to remove his wand, and with a flash of light, and a puff of smoke, he had returned safely to the confines of his room.

Justin wanted to apologize to Alex, he knew he needed to, but somehow, an apology, a simple 'I'm sorry' just didn't seem to carry enough weight. How could it? You say you're sorry when you break a lamp, you say you're sorry when you let a sworn enemy read a private journal, but what do you say when you've ruined a life? There's nothing you can say, there aren't any words to express the wrong you've done... So he gives up, throws himself on his bed, but sleep doesn't take him... the screaming has returned.

The next morning he drags himself from his bed, wearing the wrinkled clothes he'd been wearing the day before, and moves toward his door. When he opens it, his eyes drift toward the door directly across the hall, Alex's room, and he sees her there.

When their eyes meet, he notices the dark circles under her eyes, she hasn't slept either, he can see the hurt in her once mischevious brown orbs beyond the sternness of her face. Momentarily, they freeze in place, afraid to move, and Justin's heart breaks all over again when she slips back inside of her room again, the door closing with a soft click.

He wants to go to her, beg her for forgiveness, but words fail him. His actions of the day prior have, unfortunately, spoke louder than his words ever could. He sighs in defeat and slowly plods downstairs.

The day passes in a flurry. He works his shift in the restaurant, doing his best to avoid drawing suspicion, forcing himself to act at least mildly interested in one Max's disgusting sandwiches, forcing himself to answer the prying questions of his parents when they notice his weary face. He cleans and busses the tables then, without a word, solemnly returns to his room.

He hasn't seen her all day, not that he expected to... some betrayals run too deep. His room feels stifling, like it's closing in around him, constricting his lungs, making it hard to breath. It's no longer the place of warmth and comfort it once was. This room is the place he realized his love for Alex... this room is where his life started to unravel... the room where the screaming started.

He needs air, he needs to get out of this room, he needs to go to his favorite place, riding atop the silver eagles, sixty one floors above the bustling streets below. He removes his wand, concentrates, and in a flash, he's there.

Once again he sits, regaining his composure, clearing his mind, marveling at the beauty surrounding him. Once again, night falls around Justin and a chill enters his body. Once again, he flashes himself into his room, and once again, he finds no rest.

Morning comes, and once again he open his door, and once again he sees her. This time there's no staring, this time there's no confusion, just an indignant glare as she rushes past him heading downstairs... and once again, his heart breaks.

He doesn't move from his place in the hallway, his feet feel frozen to the floor, and it's not until he hears the front door slam shut, signaling that she's left, does he dare to move.

He doesn't have to work today, his parents think he's depressed and needs some time to himself... if they only knew. He sits, unmoving, on the family's couch staring at the clock on the wall, watching the seconds tick away, the screaming growing louder with each 'tic' and 'toc'.

He can't remember how long he's been sitting there, he can't remember how long he's been staring at the clock on the wall, he can't even remember his last thought through all of the screaming in his mind, but when he hears the door open, his brain begins to focus and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Alex enter. He doesn't know where she's been, but he imagines that being anywhere _else_ was better than being stuck around _him._ "I'm sorry, Alex" he says, his voice barely above a whisper, choked with sadness.

"Don't, Justin" her voice was calm and uncaring, "Don't bother talking to me _ever _again. You gave up that right when you kissed me." She walked to the stairs and began the climb to her room. She cleared three steps before he heard her stop. He could feel her staring at the back of his head, and when "I hate you" slipped past her lips, a single tear slid down his cheek.

He knew that things would never be the same. How could they be? He knew he had lost her. He knew they could never go back, they could never be brother and sister again, the damage had already been done. She had told him she hated him countless times in the past, but this one was different... this time, he knew she meant it. And at that moment, he knew one final thing... he was dead to her, and the screaming in his head would never stop.

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A/N: 2 down, 3 to go... uh, chapter 3 that is.


	3. Chapter 3

Silence

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Chapter 3

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A/N: I discovered a song recently that fits pretty well with any one-sided Jalex fix... 'Cold' by Crossfade... check it out, you'll see what I mean... now on with the story.

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Disclaimer: Like all the rest... Don't own WoWP, etc, yadda, yadda, yadda... here we go... uh... continue... again.

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Justin heard the door to Alex's room slam, and a flinch jerked his body. It was late when she had gotten back, perhaps two in the morning, he thought. He had apologized to her, but as he feared, a simple 'I'm sorry' wasn't enough, it would never be...

In his mind, there was only one thing left to do...

He made his way to his room, digging through his desk for a pen and a loose piece of paper. Hastily, he scribbled out a quick note for Alex. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he carefully folded it, and made his way to her door.

Alex sat on the edge of her bed, head in her hands, fighting back her anger, fighting back her confusion... fighting back her tears... losing the battle on all three fronts. Her body froze when she heard footsteps approach her door and her eyes widened as a ghost of a shadow, peaking out from under it, drew near.

She had locked the door, afraid of what he might try... but she knew him too well, she knew he'd never attempt _that_ again, and part of her wished what he would ignore the lock, flash himself in, and just talk to her... tell her he's sorry, tell her everything would be alright, tell her that one day soon, everything could go back to how it was... but he didn't.

Justin took the simple note from his hand, kissed it softly as he knelt down, and cautiously slipped it under her door. He leaned his arm against the cool wood, resting his head in the crook of his elbow as he removed his wand from his back pocket.

Alex stared at the small sheet of paper fluttering to a hault, and ignoring the shadow still present outside of her room, cautiously made her way over to it. Kneeling down to pick it up, she heard the faintest sound of Justin's voice, softly whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry" and, in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to throw the door open, embrace him tightly, and forgive him so she wouldn't lose the most important person in her life... but she didn't.

She opened the note, holding it at an angle to allow the dim light from her table lamp to reach it. She almost didn't recognize the handwriting. It wasn't Justin's usually near-perfect penmanship, this was scrawled, quickly and with purpose, and knots formed in her stomach when she noticed the tear stains blurring some of his words...

_Alex,_

_I'm so sorry for what I have done to you. I never meant it to let it get this far. I should have been a better brother to you, and not allowed this to happen._

_This is all my fault so please, don't blame yourself, you've done nothing wrong. Just know two things: 1) - I will always love you, and I don't blame you for hating me... I deserve it. And 2) - I'm leaving tonight, but don't try to find me... where I'm going, is a path you won't be able to tread._

_Justin_

She closed the note, tears brimming in her eyes, "Justin?" she said softly, hearing him sniffle from behind the door, but as she reached for the door knob, she heard one final thing... the familar 'pop' of someone flashing out. "JUSTIN!" As she flung open her door, she was met with whispy white smoke, and an empty hallway... he was gone.

Justin stood silently, gazing out over the city from the sixty first floor of the Chrysler Building. He turned around, looking up at the massive spire that adorned it and smiled... He had just realized why he loved this place so much... It reminded him of Alex.

Simple, yet elegant, beautiful and bold, each layer more intriguing than the last, a monument of style and grace amidst a sea of dull... Just like Alex, he thought.

He slowly backed his feet to the ledge, casting a sideways glance at the silver eagles he'd grown so fond of, jutting out like gargoyles to ward off evil spirits. "So much for myths" he said with a hollow laugh, "Is there anything more evil than me?"

He glanced down at the streets below, "Sixty-one stories," he said, running a quick calculation in his head, "about seven-hundred and eight three feet" He chuckled, his voice soft, devoid of emotion, not sure why he was even bothering with the math, and ran one final calculation, "About seven seconds of freefall..."

He took a final deep breath, lifted his head toward the heavens, whispering, "I love you, Alex" and let himself fall back, the screaming in his head now louder than ever.

Justin could feel he wind whipping through his hair as he looked up at the night sky. It seemed that it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. The way the stars twinkled above him, shining their meager light for all the world to see, and he wondered for a second how many of them were still there... how many had 'died', exploded in a brilliant supernova, but were too far away for the light from that catastrophic event to have yet reached Earth. He wondered how many of them out there were just like him... still shining for all the world to see but had long since passed... just a remnant of their former selves.

_Seven... _

"Justin!" sniffled a eight year old Alex, "I scraped my knee... I need your help" she said putting on her best pouty face. "Come here," he said, placing her gently on his lap and tending to her wound. "All better?" "Yes, Justin, thank you!" Alex said smiling as Justin placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Your wecome, Alex, I'll always be here to help you"

_Six..._

"Justin!" said ten year old Alex, "I broke mommy's lamp. I need your help!" "Ok, calm down. Let's see..." Justin said, removing his wand, "I think this might help... _Lampinus Repairis."_ "There" he stated smiling, "All better." "Thank you, Justin" Alex said hugging her brother. "You're welcome. I'll always be here to help you."

_Five..._

_"_Alex, what did you do?" Justin said to a twelve year old Alex. "What? Why do you just assume-" Justin shot her a look. "Ok, fine. So, I kinda did a spell wrong... and now the Lair is on fire!" "What!" he shouted as they both rushed downstairs.

"There, the fire's out... now... um... oh, _Roomius Fixus." _"Phew, talk about a close one, huh? Anyway, thanks for the help" Alex said, patting him on the back. Justin smiled, "I'll always be here to help you."

_Four..._

"Justin, can you help me with something?" Asked a fourteen year old Alex. "Sure, what is it?" he asked curiously. "I forgot to study for that math test I got tomorrow, will you help me?" "Of course I will!" Justin replied, enthusiastically.

"Justin, Justin! Look..." she said holding out her test, running excitedly towards him, "I got a B!" "Congratulations, Alex. I'm so proud of you!" Justin said smiling. Alex blushed happily, "Thanks again for the help." "No problem, Alex, I'll always be here to help you."

_Three..._

"But why?' Whined a sixteen year old Alex, stomping her foot. "Uh, probably because if you don't study your wizard lessons, you'll end up wishing mom and dad never met again or something..." he said, clearly frustrated.

"Ugh, fine!... Thanks..." "For what?" Justin asked, "For the help." Alex replied shyly. "But I haven't done anything yet..." "I know... but you will" she stated. Justin smiled, "I'll always be here to help you."

_Two..._

"Justin!" Cried an eighteen year old Alex from her knees in the narrow hallway her brother had just flashed away from, tears streaming down her face. "Please don't leave me... I still need you... I still need your help!"

_One..._

"I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry I broke my promise to always be there for you." Justin whispered to the night sky. "Maybe I'll get another chance someday... one last chance to get things right..."

_Zero..._

Finally, the pain in his heart had ended...

Finally, the screaming in his mind had stopped...

Finally... there was Silence.

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A/N: Ok, this story is done... So... Alright, I'm going through a bit of a 'do-horrible-things-to-Justin' phase... But that doesn't mean... *ducks* AH! Who threw the rock? *points angrily* Was it you?... Anyway, hopefully that back-and-forth in time wasn't too hard to follow... Thanks for reading.

A lot of that stuff about the Chrysler building came from a show on the History Channel I watched about two years ago... Details are kinda fuzzy... the rest was just a S.W.A.G.. - (Scientific Wild Ass Guess) - for those of you who are curious... and only about 2 miles from Waverly Place (thank you google maps) which is why I chose it.

And for the record, suicide is NEVER the answer... there's ALWAYS something else you can do, got it? Good.

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OK, that's it... Peace Out.


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